I’m so lucky to have the kind of freedom I have now.
With no kids at home anymore and only one on-site workday each week, my days are mostly my own. I get to juggle my VA client work, creative projects, and my online store in a way that actually feels spacious.
If inspiration isn’t flowing, I’ll head out to the garden or do a few jobs around the house and come back when I’m ready. On sunny days, I potter outside and work at night. In winter, you’ll find me curled up by the fire with my laptop. It’s taken me a while to build this life — but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
And yet… I still catch myself feeling guilty for enjoying it.
This morning, for example, I thought, “I’ll just do my nails before I head down to the office.”
Then that familiar voice piped up: “It’s 9am, you should be working.”
Says who?
Having my nails done makes me feel put-together and confident when I’m packing orders or typing away at my computer. It’s part of my self-care, not a waste of time. But still, that twinge of guilt shows up, and I know I’m not the only one who feels it.
The Guilt of Indulgence
There are many types of guilt, some run deep and deserve to be worked through with a counsellor or trusted professional. But what I’m talking about here is the everyday kind:
The guilt of doing something “just for you.”
The guilt of resting when there’s more to do.
The guilt of being in flow rather than “productive.”
Let’s call it indulgence guilt.
It shows up in little ways, like rushing through yoga, skipping your moisturiser, or feeling bad for taking time to make yourself feel beautiful, because somewhere along the line, we learned that care equals vanity, and productivity equals worth.
But the truth is, self-care isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.
Oils to Support Letting Go of Guilt
When guilt creeps in, I turn to my essential oils to help me reconnect with calm and compassion for myself. These are some recommended essential oils for releasing guilt and lightening the heart:
Copaiba – soothing and grounding; helps quiet self-criticism. Copaiba is an unveiling oil, it can help you make peace with the past.
Bergamot – lifts heaviness and invites joy back in. Beragamot is the oil of self-acceptance, it helps to relieve feelings of self-judgement.
Citrus Bloom – reminds you of your natural radiance and self-worth. This blend is also perfect for clearing stagnant energies all around, physically, emotionally, your space.
Siberian Fir – helps release past burdens with a breath of fresh energy. It is the Essential Oil for perspective. Siberian Fir reminds us to look for the good and remember we are all inherently valued and needed.
Thyme – encourages self-trust and courage to move forward. Thyme is the essential oil for releasing. It helps to empty the soul of negativity, leaving the heart wide open.
DIY Roller for Emotional Release
Try making yourself a simple blend to help melt away tension and self-judgement. Choose one or a couple of the essential oils mentioned above add to a roller bottle and top with a carrier oil. Trust yourself with how many drops to add, and choose the oils you are drawn to or the oils you have at home.
Gently massage it into the areas where you hold tension — your shoulders, neck, or chest. As you do, take a few deep breaths and imagine yourself releasing guilt like a bird that’s been trapped in a cage. Watch as it spreads its wings and soars into the open sky.
Feel peace and relief fill the space it leaves behind.
Visualise forgiving yourself completely and being free to step into a new, lighter version of yourself.
Affirmation
From my Whiffs of Wisdom – Bergamot card:
“I invite joy and lightness into my heart, embracing life with an open spirit.”
Repeat this as you breathe in your oils and allow yourself to simply be.
Because the truth is, you don’t have to earn your rest, your joy, or your beauty. You’re allowed to enjoy them, guilt-free.
If you’d love a little extra guidance with your self-care rituals, the Sacred Self-Care Oracle Deck is a beautiful companion. Each card offers gentle reminders to slow down, listen to your intuition, and nourish your soul. 👇
Disclaimer:
I’m not a doctor, counsellor, or mental health professional. This blog post is for informational and inspirational purposes only and isn’t intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional care. I also recognise that I’m lucky to be in a place where my guilt is mostly around self-care and indulgence, and I don’t want to minimise or demoralise anyone going through really tough times. If you’re experiencing deep or ongoing guilt, please reach out to a qualified mental health practitioner for support.
Essential oils safety: Always use essential oils as directed. Keep out of reach of children and pets. Avoid direct skin contact with undiluted oils, and discontinue use if irritation occurs.
